Let's take a look at the latter. I could fill a swimming pool full of reasons why I became so large. I have spent enough hours on someone's couch to have it all sorted out but knowing the reasons, explanations, and excuses didn't help over time when I needed to lose the weight and kept trying and trying. Eventually, it became not enough to keep me on the diet, program or attitude change to sustain continued weight loss. It never lasted all that long, to be honest. The thing is the way I am now is the way I am now. I can't go back and change situations that facilitated my need to run to comfort in food or change the results of such a coping mechanism by going on yet another diet or weight loss program or read the latest self-help, self-actualization, meditation and all around feel-good-about-yourself-as-a-fat-person book. All I can do is move forward and do what I need to do to make my life better.
That brings me to my reasons I chose to have a gastric bypass. First, I'm doing it to improve my health.
I have Type II diabetes which, honestly, I don't monitor daily. I think it's called: "denial".
I do not want to follow in my mothers footsteps and end up with a lower leg amputation.
I also have Obstructive Sleep Apnea. I've been on a CPAP for nearly 15 years and I would like to not have to wear an appliance to go to sleep.
I have chronic Achilles tendonosis. This is as a result from two arthroscopic menisectomies from a slip and fall incident in 2009. My gait changed and my Achilles tendon is not happy, and it is an everyday painful experience. I pray the weight loss relieves the pain, and if not, I'll have to have it surgically repaired.
I have other aches and pains that I'm sure are associated with obesity or aging or a combination.
There are societal reasons as well. I need to have a seat belt extension every time I fly and the seats are so small, the flight is never a comfortable one. The one "perk" of obesity when you fly, on Southwest especially, is that no one wants to sit by the fat lady. If the fight is not fully booked, I'm guaranteed an empty seat next to me.
What I find most amazing about being large is that people don't see you! How can this be? I guess when you don't fit into their perception of what attractive is, then you're not worth wasting an acknowledgement as a human being.
One of the most important reasons I am doing this is for him:
He is my grandson, Alex Vincent DiLorenzo, and I want to be able to do things with him. I want to hike down the Grand Canyon and kayak in Hawaii with him. I'm the youngest of the grandmothers, and I want to be that way for a long, long time. He's too precious to leave behind.
Some of the lesser reasons I have to undergo the procedure are to simply look better. I know I won't look like I did when I was in my 20's or 30's, but I want to look good for myself and my husband, too. The benefits of that will be greeted with open arms, joy and maybe a little "some'thin', some'thin'" as an added treat! ;-)...another thing that falls by the wayside when you become bigger and bigger. I'm planning on visiting a plastic surgeon about year after and at my lowest weight to have things perked up, sucked out and tightened up.
Look out: Boom Boom will be back and she's smarter, stronger and has the confidence to take on the new world.
I will write about other things I'm looking forward to doing when I lose the weight on another installment.
For now...I'm going to enjoy my day off with my hubby...
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