Delicate Issues

I want to talk about some of the more "delicate" issues surrounding being overweight.  
These mostly include things to do with bathroom activities and the nether regions.
It involves all those places that are impossible to reach when you have a wide girth.
Let me be more specific here, because somebody has to talk about it: wiping your butt... there, I've said it!
This can be a maneuver that, if actually seen by someone, would strike awe as to the ability of such a large person being able to contort themselves into a position so they can use good bathroom hygiene with a wad of toilet paper in their hands.  There are tools available that make the process a little easier:  it's a toilet paper "wand" that gives you the extension needed to complete the task in a cleanly manner. This whole process is one of those things that you adapt to as you get bigger and bigger.  It doesn't make it any less humiliating.
This same part of the anatomy needs some help in the shower, too.  A hand-held shower head is essential for this process. Personally, I have discovered a second use for a spongy back washer; leaves me feeling fresh as a daisy. When I don't have that available to me, then a soapy hand towel in the shower works just as well.
It will be so nice to not to have to go through all this after I lose weight.  I can return to a shower and toilet routine without the use of gadgets or a wing and a prayer that my underwear can take on another stain.  Ewwwwww.... yeah, don't I know it!